It is your favorite football prognosticator, me. Actually have had two winning weeks against the spread to open the year. Let's see what Week 3 brings... Miami @ Jacksonville - The league continues to get the weiner teams out of the way as far as the Thursday night package is concerned. Go with the franchise with less awful owner. Chicago @ Atlanta - Good philosophy between evenly matched teams is to go with who needs the win worst, in this case 0-2 Atlanta over 2-0 Chicago. It is like I before e except after c. Except there are exceptions. Just say the Falcons epic come from ahead to lose debacle in Dallas will sting for a while. LA Rams @ Buffalo - The franchise relocations have confused me. I see 'LAR' at Buffalo on the schedule and I get images of Jeff Hostetler and a 51-3 blowout in the offing. This will easily be the Bills biggest game against a LA team since the 1990s. Get the tailgate ketchup and mustard ready.
Washington @ Cleveland - I said last week the Browns would not cover a 6-point spread, well they did for most of the night but Cincinnati scored the back-door cover. Browns favored by seven this week, will take the Burgolders and the points, just not a lot of confidence points.
Tennessee @ Minnesota - I will go with the team that needs a win most here, and if Kirk Cousins throws three more interceptions, he throws three more interceptions.
Las Vegas @ New England - Rod Smart and the Outlaws! Again, the relocations have disoriented me. The Raiders are 2-0 and I don't see the Pats falling to 1-2.
San Francisco @ NY Giants - Speaking of retro, I still envision Jim Burt destroying Joe Montana. Chicken soup did not save Joe that day, as Montana was being loaded into an ambulance by the time the Giants finished their 49-3 divisional playoff rout.
Cincinnati @ Philadelphia - For Doug Pederson's sake the Eagles better win this week but Joe Burrow not an easy out. Houston @ Pittsburgh - Love Ya Blue! Thinking about a slushy AFC Championship game from 1979 when Mike Renfro was seemingly robbed by officials of a touchdown on a play that would have been confirmed by today's replay review protocols.
NY Jets @ Indianapolis - Jets one of the few double-digit dogs so far this year, and there is good reason for that. Carolina @ LA Chargers - Christian McCaffrey out at least three weeks, between that and Saquon Barkley I know why I got out of fantasy football.
Tampa Bay @ Denver - Wonder if Brett Favre makes the trip to see his beloved Bucs this week? Naw, Brett don't go west.
Detroit @ Arizona - The teams ended up playing to draw when they last played in Week 1 last year. This time around the Cardinals are clearly on the wise while the Matt Patricia ship is listing. Do not put the house the Lions for a merge if they are somehow up by 15 in the third quarter. Dallas @ Seattle - Dak Prescott v. Russell Wilson, whoever has the ball last wins - worthy of America's Game of the Week.
Green Bay @ New Orleans - Drew Brees is done and finished and most like Green Bay to win outright. Then I see an article asking when the Saints will unleash one-time Packers camp QB Taysom Hill. He is getting paid $21 million over two years for nights like this. Taysom interjects himself like a heel wrestler every fourth week. Saints win and Aaron Rodgers admits he was reading too many of his press clippings in the postgame.
Kansas City @ Baltimore - Will go with the Chiefs only because Ravens more comfortable finishing second in division before they roll as a Wild Card and get eventual revenge in KC.
Locks: Minnesota v. Tennessee, San Francisco @ NY Giants, Pittsburgh v. Houston, Arizona v. Detroit, New Orleans v. Green Bay
Last Week 9-7, Season 17-13-1
Locks: Last Week 3-2, Season 6-4